Decaf?

ERAP ordering coffee at Starbucks...
Barista: DECAF po ba?
ERAP: OO, alangan naman dePLATE, tanga!

In A Party

In a party, a handsome guy approached a girl and asked;
are you going to dance??
The girl felt so happy that someone finally asked her and she said;
"yes" and the guys said "that's good, can I have your chair??"

Job Interview

Sa isang job interview...
Boss: Ano ang alam mo?
Juan: Alam ko po kung saan kayo nakatira ng misis mo,
at kung saan nakatira ang kabit mo.
Boss: Tanggap ka na!

A COW Story

America has COWboy and COWgirl.
England has madCOW.
China has MaCOW.
Russia has MosCOW.
But the Philippines has the cutest COWs: iCOW at aCOW.

MakaDiyos

Dad: Mabait ba ang boyfriend mo?
Anak: Yes, Daddy.
Daddy: Maka-Diyos?
Anak: Sobra Dad.
Daddy: Nasaan siya?
Anak: Nandoon sa simbahan, nagmimisa!

Panglima

Jinggoy: Dad, pang ilang Tirso Cruz na si Tirso Cruz III?
Erap : (natawa) Trick question ba yan anak? Eh, di pang-lima,
kaya nga PIP ang tawag sa kanya, di ba?