Showing posts with label Husband and wife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Husband and wife. Show all posts

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Not Expected

Lester went off on a country trip, but had gone only three blocks before he realised that he had left his call cards on the coffee table. He went back home and quietly went into the house. His wife was at the sink in a filmy negligee. She was so inviting that he sneaked up behind her and put his hand on her breast. Without turning round she said:

"Just one litre will do today, thanks. Lester's away on a trip for the rest of the week."

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Playing Safe

Manghuhula: Sorry Misis, but your husband will meet a violent death.
Wife: Alam ko po 'yon, ang gusto kong malaman kung maaabsuelto ba ako??

Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Prize

Wife: (Shouting...) Honey mag-impake ka na,
nanalo ako sa lotto!.
Husband: Wow! Anong dadalhin ko?!
Wife: Wala akong pakialam basta lumayas ka na!.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Zorro

Mister: Kung gagawa ako ng pelikula, gusto ko, ako si ZORRO!
Misis: Eh ako, sino?
Mister: Si DACOZ!
Misis: Dacoz? Sino 'yon?
Mister: DA COZ of all my ZORROs!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

So you want a divorce?

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."


The wife says nothing,
Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 75 He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently..

Up to 80 . "I want the car, too," he continues.

85 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"


The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"


The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph,The wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag."


Moral of the Story :
Women are crazy!!!!

Don't mess with them!!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Pretty Or Ugly

Wife: Hon, am I pretty or ugly?
Husband: Uhm?.. both..
Wife: Anong both? Pwedeng pretty or ugly?
Husband: Ang ibig kong sabihin, you're pretty ugly.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Driver

"WIFE: maghiwalay na tayo!
MAN: ok, akin ang bahay!
WIFE: akin ang farm!
MAN: akin ang kotse!
WIFE: ah pero akin ang driver
MAN: Pwes, magkakamatayan tayo,
MATAGAL NA SIYANG AKIN!"

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