SuperJaguar: School jokes

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Showing posts with label School jokes. Show all posts

Showing posts with label School jokes. Show all posts

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Common Sense

By zu 11:13 PM // 7 comments

Isang bata, nagpasa ng blank paper sa art teacher..a

Teacher: Bakit blank ang work mo?

Bata: Nagdrawing po ako ng baka at damo.

Teacher: (tinignan ulit ang papel) San ang damo?

Bata: Ubos na po,kinain ng baka.

Teacher: (kamot sa ulo) Eh nasaan yong baka?

Bata: Ano pa gagawin ng baka dyan, eh wala ng damo? syempre umalis na po. Common sense naman mam!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Friends at Hunting

By zu 3:10 AM // No comments

Three friends La Sallite, a UP stude, and an Atenean went on a hunting trip.

The first night, the guy from UP comes back to cabin with a big deer. The others ask him how he did it, and he cooly replies: "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! I got the deer!"
The next night, the guy from Ateneo comes back also with a big deer. "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! I got the deer!" was the Atenean's story.
So the La Sallite decides to try it himself. But the next night, as he drags himself back to the cabin, his two companions find him bruised and bloody all over. "What happened?" they ask? "Well," replies the La Sallite, "I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! A train hit me."

Where To Go To College?

By zu 3:07 AM // No comments

If you have a lot of brains and a little money, go to UP.
If you have some brains and some money, go to Ateneo.
If you have no brains and lots of money, go to La Salle
If you have no money, go to PUP.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Effort

By zu 7:57 PM // 5 comments

Anak: Itay baksak ako sa English recitation!
Tatay: Bakit, ano ba tanong?
Anak: Ano daw ba ang definition ng effort?
Tatay: Anak ano ka ba? ang b**o m o naman effort lang 'di mo pa alam... ang effort ay 'yong nilalandingan ng eroplano!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

A Philosophy Teacher Challenging a Student

By zu 9:02 PM // No comments

Teacher: To see is to believe, have you seen God?
Student: No sir, I haven't!
Teacher: Then there is no God!
Student: Sir may I ask a question? Have you seen your brain?
Teahcer: No!
Student: Uwi na tayo wala pa lang utak si Sir!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Favoritism

By zu 10:21 PM // No comments

Sa loob ng klase...
Guro: Pedro, what is 6+9?
Pedro: Maam, 15 po!.
Guro: Very good!. 'Kaw naman Juan, what is 9+6?
Juan: Pambihira! Kapag mahihirap na sa akin napupunta...
Favoritism talaga, oh!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Bagoong

By zu 3:54 AM // No comments

Teacher: Class draw a fish..!
Class: Yes ma'am!
Teacher: Pedro, why is ur drawing very dirty..?
Pedro: Ma'am, bagoong po 'yan."

Monday, March 2, 2009

Kodigo

By zu 6:50 AM // No comments

Nahuling may kodigo ang estudyante.. .
Guro: Ano 'to?
Estudyante: Prayer ko po, ma'am!
Guro: At bakit answers ang nakasulat?
Estudyante: Naku! Sinagot na ang prayers ko!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Pangarap

By zu 5:13 AM // No comments

Juan: Ang pangarap ko po ay kumita
ng twenty thousand dollars a month.
Kagaya ng tatay ko.
Teacher: Wow! Ang laki pala ng suweldo ng tatay mo.
Juan: Hindi po. Pangarap po niya yon.

What Is Science?

By zu 5:10 AM // No comments

Teacher: Okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?
Pedro: Ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!
Teacher: Okay Pedro, what is science?
Pedro: Science is our lesson for today, ma'am!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Di Pa Nakikita

By zu 9:24 PM // No comments

Anak: 'Tay, tulong naman sa assignment ko. Find the least common denominator daw.
Ama: Ha? Aba'y elementary pa lang ako eh, hinahanap na nila yan ah! Aba'y di pa ba nila nakikita?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Nagkopyahan

By zu 2:55 AM // No comments

Josh: Kumusta ang assignment mo?
Zach: Masama! Wala akong nasagutan.
Blank paper ang ipinasa ko.
Josh: Naku, ako rin! Paano 'yan?
Baka isipin nila, nagkopyahan tayo?!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Assignment

By zu 6:44 PM // No comments

Student: Ma'am, pagagalitan niyo po ba ako
sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa?
Teacher: Natural hindi.
Student: Good! Di ko po ginawa assignment ko!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Late

By zu 6:08 AM // No comments

TITSER: Bat ka na-late?
EDWARD: Nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki.
TITSER: Tinulungan mo siyang maghanap?
EDWARD: Hindi po, tinapakan ko lang hanggang umalis siya.

Dugo't Pawis

By zu 5:02 AM // No comments

TEACHER: Mga bata, alam niyo ba na ang bawat butil ng palay
ay galing sa dugo't pawis ng mga magsasaka?
MGA BATA: Eeewwww! Yuuuccck!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Assignment

By zu 2:18 AM // No comments

Josh: Kumusta ang assignment?
Zach: Masama. Wala akong nasagutan.
Blank paper ang ipinasa ko.
Josh: Naku, ako rin! Paano 'yan?
Baka isipin nila, nagkopyahan tayo?!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Sa isang classroom...

By zu 2:55 AM // No comments

Titser: Class, what is ETHICS?
Pilo: Etiks are smaller than ducks.
Titser: Okey, that duck will lay an egg in your card.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Pag-aaral

By zu 12:05 AM // No comments

Ama: Kumusta ang pag-aaral mo?
Anak: Nag-lesson at test po kami tungkol sa mga manok.
Ama: Ano, madali ba?
Anak: Chicken na chicken!
Ama: Magaling anak. Anong grade mo?
Anak: Itlog po.
Ama: Ngee!

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